Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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run farther?

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How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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What did the Asian store clerk say to the midget? yay penis

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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