Connor is homo

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

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What's big, white, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.?

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Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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