Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she was dead.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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