"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

Blacks

Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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