Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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2

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It sucks if you have amnesia. It sucks if you have amnesia.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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