Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Why is Chuck Norris so frickin awesome? He just is cause he's chuck norris

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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Two planes walk into an office building

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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