Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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I cant find my anti-jokes this is also one

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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