whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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What did Chuck Norris say when he stubbed his toe? "Oh shit I stubbed my toe."

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops