What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A man walks into a bar. He is followed by a chicken, 2 donkeys, a tiger, 7 cardinals, 3 horses, 11 chipmunks, and 2 squirrels. And they all lived happily ever after. THE END

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Chlamydia

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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LET

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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69

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so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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Why was the blonde confused? Because she had 10 second memory loss.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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