what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Christians

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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"The lack of a punch line is the punch line" Oh

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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