Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This is a Poem, your Adopted

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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PENIS

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops