Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

knock knock Dave's not here.

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

how did harry styles get in one diretion god

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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