When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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why was the man walking in the kitchen? idk thats why i asked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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