Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

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Why did the fat boy cry? His grandmother died

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops