Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Timmy stay home on the day of the big test at the public school? He was homeschooled

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:Why Did the Black people die in there car A: They were Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Want to here a joke? Me to...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except that didn't work for the boy. He also lost his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What are the two words that once you hear, You will feel a sudden gush of euphoria followed by immense depression? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops