Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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