How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What did the big pickle say to the little pickle? "I'm black."

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What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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Sex vagina. lol.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Why is the blonde so upset? Her mother is dying from cancer.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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What is green and looks like a blue car? A Green car

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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