knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

why was 6 afraid of 7 because 6 just found out 7 had genital herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops