Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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what's white and sticky semen

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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What did the Joker say to Batman? Why are we wearing these stupid costumes

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Well, I couldn't understand them... It's hard to pronounce anything clearly when your mouth is full, which is why you don't eat and speak simultaneously.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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