How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

what's the difference between a crocodile?

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

roses are red violets are blue tulips are white daisies are yellow

What's funnier than 24? Many things, the number 24 is not very humorous.

Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

A black car pulls up early in the morning and slows down by your house You see him pull a mysterious object out of his car and point it at you, The paper boy tosses a newspaper at you

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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