Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A second Holocaust. What's worse than a second Holocaust? Being raped by Santa Claus. What's worse than that? NOTHING.

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q: Why didn't the bunny eat the carrot? A: The bunny didn't have any carrots. Poor bunny.

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Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? About 144 licks but everyone gets different answers because we all lick lollipops differently.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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