A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

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So there's this moose right? And he walks into the store and asks where the potatoes are. And the cashier lady says aisle 5. So the moose walks to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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NO ONE LIKES YOU!!!!

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Whats black and white all over? Michael Jackson

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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women's rights

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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