A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down -9

People, so yeah Nero7 is alive, but for the first time in history this site is crashing because too many are posting questions here, so I will try answering some for you, the name is Joker2 and I am one of the administrators at point zero. Nero7 is alive and, according to himself well, but physically he can barely walk and stutters in pain, and yes we are six million followers in total. Otherwise his condition is stable, and no, he is not dying in six years (because) that is also part of the coding you will need to access our site (it might have sounded a bit too dramatic in order for some of you to understand its part of the code) Do not post questions or comments regarding our activity on any other section, we do not want that kind of attention, so stop it or we will have to cut you off, Nero can and will answer questions, but please one at the time, its clogging this crappy server, besides Nero can only answer one person at the time as far as I am aware off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The Grinch stole Christmas, he accidentally dropped it and Christmas was ruined for everyone life sucked -shane,Adam,David and Riley go cry about it

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walked into a bar and asked if he could use the toilet The bartender told him that it was for paying customers only The man walked up to the bartender, ordered a drink and then proceeded to go to the toilet He came back feeling refreshed, finished his drink and said his goodbyes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Grandma give little Ben for Christmas? a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You spent your time reading this and realized there was no joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops