What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

What do you get when you cross a penis with a dinosaur? A dicklodocus.

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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So there's a monkey in a bar. I forgot the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

So an irish man walks into a bar, 10 seconds later he is dead. What happened was there was a sharp piece of metal on the bar so is cut his throat and he bleed to death.

What do you put in a toaster? Bread, or sometimes a small penis.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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