Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin Before He Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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Q: Why did the boy eat an apple? A: A strong man stuffed it down his throat.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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which one is easiest

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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Obama

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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