Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Tall asians

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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The Female Orgasm

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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womens rights.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Ey hornboy give es a SCAB

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops