okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Today is March 22.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

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How do black guys say hi to each other? Hi.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Q: Why didn't Jane cross the road? A: Because Jane is a figment of my imagination and therefore has neither the physical capability to cross this so called "road" nor the initiatory motivation to do so...

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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