A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Pineapple.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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We have come to the United States in search of a just, and profitable land, but we have found a place of bigots and racists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

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How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops