A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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What happens when Helen Keller plays badminton? She doesn't win because she threw out her back playing Ultimate Frisbee the weekend prior.

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how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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Why do i have no likes? Because im disliked...

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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what does lady gaga and a vacuum have in common? nothing. lady gaga is a human and the other is a house hold item.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? A: Ow.

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Is J.P. dumb? Yes

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Hey! Do you like fishsticks? Me too :)

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

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Japan

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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