Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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