- Anti Joke

Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

"Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "The police." "'The police', who?" "Sir, come out of your domicile with your hands up and no weapons present. You've just gone to an orphanage and massacred almost every nun who's worked there for almost five years. Not only that, but your son has also contracted AIDS from his previously lesbian girlfriend whom she has lost her mother too in the orphanage accident you've just caused."

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

A Cheerio is at Cheerio high school, and there is another Cheerio that he wants to ask to the prom, but she is a frosted Cheerio and because of Cheerio social statuses she would not go with him. So he goes to the Cheerio factory so he can become a frosted Cheerio. The factory workers tell him that he can be a frosted Cheerio, but the machines are malfunctioning today and they can only frost half of him. He agrees, and the girl Cheerio goes to the prom with him. He shows up at the prom with her, and she asks him to get her some punch. So, he's walking around, looking for the punch line, when he realizes: There isn't any.

How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

Why was the redneck so racist? Because he had a severe dislike for the black community.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

Mary had a little lamb Little lamb Mary had a little lamb That Mary wanted to blow Because Mary was into beastiality

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

Why did the car crash? The driver was female.

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

What do shoes and boxes have in common Both will get squashed if a washing machine lands on one of them

Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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