Why were the 3 men wearing black suits? They just left their mothers funeral, she died of terminal cancer.

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CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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first

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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A white man on his way to happens to sit next to a black man the following conversation involves a democrat and a repuplican arguing about obama's current presidentcy and the wallstreet journal the two do not agree on both sujects and part ways...the white man is later brutally murdered in his own house infront of white and children in an unrelated incident. We should all help to stop violence in our local nieghborhoods.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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