what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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