Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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What comes after 69? 70

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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