How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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well now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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A Horse walks into a Bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The Horse had cancer.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops