How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Joesph Triphook.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why do women rip you off? Because they like money

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops