Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because it would be hazardous to other motorists well-being.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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What comes after 69? 70

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How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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