don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is yellow and Bear Grills has drunk on National Television. ...Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

9

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's plastic and kids turn it on... A xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blow job I promised you? Well, here it comes..."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops