Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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anti-joke.com

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender served him a beer and said "why the long face?", to which the horse replied "neigh". The bartender was later fired for incompetence and serving beer to a horse.

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

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What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

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two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? A: A bus stop

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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