Q: What did the train say when it sneezed twice? A: Trains are inanimate objects, thus they cannot sneeze or talk. Are you an idiot?

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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??????????? ??????????????? "Hello, idiot teacher! You eat milk."

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

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Women's rights.

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What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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Once upon a time

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Pianos.

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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