roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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What's better than singing in the rain? Singing in a Pitt of fire. Oh wait that would be way worse than singing in the rain

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Find the b dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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What's better than being rich? Not living in Kenya.

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops