Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

Man: get back in the kitchen! Women: no Man: ok

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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