Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I believe you've seen enough of these already.

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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#Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Catherine of Aragon was one. # She failed to give him a son #He had to ask her for a divorce. #That broke her poor heart of course. #Young Anne Boleyn, she was two #Had a daughter, the best she could do #He said she flirted with some other man #And off with the chop, went dear Anne! #Lovely Jane Seymour was three! #The love of his lifetime indeed! #She gave him a son #Little Price Ed #Then poor old Jane...went and dropped dead! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! #He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #Some might say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! #Anne of Cleeves came at four #He fell for the portrait he saw! #But laid eyes on her face, and cried #SHE'S A HORSE! I MUST HAVE ANOTHER DIVORCE! #Catherine Howard was five #A child of nineteen, so alive #She flirted with others, no way to behave #The AXE sent young Cath to her grave! #Catherine Parr, she was last #By then all his best days were past #He lay on his death bed, aged just fifty-five! #Lucky Catherine- the last stayed alive! #I mean, how unfair! #Divorced, beheaded and died! #Divorced, beheaded, survived! # He's Henry VIII, he had six sorry wives #You could say he ruined their lives!!!!!!! And the moral of the story is: Never buy a car without knowing it's background.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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