If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

Two women that are both blonde were driving together down a hill. Suddenly, the brakes fail and one blonde says "Oh no, we're gonna crash. The blonde in the passenger seat says "Don't worry, there's a stop sign." Then the blonde driver says "I'm not dumb okay, that's yield sign.

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

A guy walks into a bra. The woman screams and calls 991.

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

What do you call a handsome nerd? The name that is on his birth certificate.

what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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