Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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what would be the most epic fight ever chuck norris vs superman vs all legendary pokemon vs a giant who would win it me (im superman)

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A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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What noise annoys a noisy oyster? Hispanics with their loud car stereos.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Why did Jennifer shit herself? Because there was a black man staring through her window!

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

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Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

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ecks! why zee?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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