- Anti Joke

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I ASKED YOU FIRST!

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: He got hit by an axe.

Finding TWO worms in your apple.