Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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Yo mama looks so much like a cardboard box, my kindergarten class graduated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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What did the boy say when he could'nt find his dog? I wonder where Spot went.

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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What do you call an African American witch doctor dressed in ceremonial robes flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops