Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Nothing. He made it home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops