I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the buffet table? To get to the other sides.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Girls soccer

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Wuts brown and smelly? Brown smelly stuff.

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A man reaches to grab a womans chest and then realizing hes gay, backs off and everyone goes home happy

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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what did the bull say when it got shot? nothing... its a bull

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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