Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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You're so black that other black people make fun of how black you are.

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Why was Timmy crying? because his impaled his dog while in a drunken rage

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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What did the taxi driver say to the chicken when the chicken called a cab? "aren't you supposed to be crossing a road somewhere?" Little did the taxi driver know that the chickens license was taken away for multiple DUIs because when his wife left him he became an alcoholic mess, lost his job and became depressed. But when he called the taxi, he was on his way to a job interview. Since he never made it to his job interview he soon went broke and lost his home. Having hit rock bottom, the chicken unawarely started to cross a busy road and was ran over by that same taxi driver.

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Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Roses are red Violets are... The poem was never finished due to the fact that the reader had narcolepsy and promptly fell asleep.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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What's the longest word in the English language? Tuna. (I lied about it being the longest word in the language.)

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one and it is politically incorrect to assume otherwise.

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know you have to ask the chicken if you speak chicken

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops