what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Q: What's the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde? A: Whereas intelligent blondes are known to exist, most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax, rather than a living animal, in part because of the large numbers thought necessary to maintain a breeding population.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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homosexuals are gay

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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