What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Why did the Armadyl godsword penetrated full Bandos? Because the AGS went up its tassets

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

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Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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How many black people can you fit into a cardboard box? Depends on how big the box is.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

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Why was the little girl crying. Her dad wiped his bloody penis with her teddybear.

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24

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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there was once a jew

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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