Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 00111111 00100000 00001010 00001010 00001010 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 Translate

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops